(Colts Neck, NJ)—Legendary American rocker Bruce Springsteen surprised fans today by releasing “Born to Trump,” a song that praises President Donald J. Trump, a stunning move for the longtime liberal who campaigned for Democratic presidential candidates John Kerry, Barack Obama, and Hillary Clinton.
Longtime conservative critics of the New Jersey-born superstar rejoiced at Mr. Springsteen’s seemingly sudden change of heart.
“I always thought his music was pretty terrible,” admitted Republican Joe Kapinsky of Freehold, NJ, where Mr. Springsteen was born. “But, now on second listen, I like it a lot.”
The song is a searing, sprawling tale of the coming of Donald Trump to save an America broken by liberal Democrats, social-justice warriors, identity-politics advocates, and a villain Springsteen refers to only as “Sleepy Joe.” Its opening stanza brilliantly sets the story in the way only Mr. Springsteen can:
Out on the edge of town, near the old garbage dump,
Past the greasers, dance-floor hacks, and boardwalk phonies,
Where the economy was in a big downward slump,
Arrived high hopes, in the form of Donald J. Trump
Self-described conservative Nancy Devaney of Frederick, Maryland, who posted on Twitter a year ago that “these Hollywood liberals should stay the heck out of politics,” was brimming with enthusiasm for the new Springsteen song: “It’s great! Bruce has every right to voice his opinions in his music. I mean, the First Amendment applies to him too, right?”
Victor Walsh of Enid, Oklahoma, sitting beneath a framed picture of singer Lee Greenwood said, “I know I said he should keep his big political mouth shut and just sing songs about old cars, pretty girls, and out-of-work losers, but these lyrics are fantastic.”
As he headed to board the Marine One helicopter this morning, President Trump shouted to reporters who asked him about the new Springsteen single: “It’s a great song. An absolutely perfect song, really. It’s a winner. Perfect. Everybody says so. I mean, this guy could really be a big, big, big addition to a presidential campaign.”
It was reported that a nervous Mike Pence was seen dusting off an old guitar he pulled from an office closet and practicing chords.
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The featured image combines an image of Bruce Springsteen licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license, and an image of President Donald J. Trump that is in the public domain; both are courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.