(London)—On her way to the family meeting she called late last week to discuss the decision of her grandson Prince Harry and wife Meghan Markle to “step back” from their role as members of the royal family, Queen Elizabeth II was seen carrying her infamous “whuppin’ stick.”

“This is a rarity indeed,” one longtime royal observer said. “The Queen has only been spotted with this on a few occasions—like the time she met with Prince Charles about his decision to divorce Diana… and the time she met with Prince Charles to discuss his marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles…. well, it does seem that she’s mainly used it previously in regard to Prince Charles, doesn’t it?”

The stick, which is estimated to be three-to-four-feet long, shows clear evidence of serious use, as it’s battered below its decorative lower metal plate. As members of the royal family filed into the Queen’s Sandringham estate north of London, where the meeting will be held, reporters shouted out to the Queen, asking her about the stick. “No, no, no,” Prince Charles said as he deflected questions. “This is something we don’t talk about openly. It’s just Mummy’s way.”

Royal observers agreed that it was very wise that Meghan Markle had fled to Canada last week prior to the couple’s controversial announcement and was participating in the meeting via conference call.

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. We also sometimes add a dose of humor to our journal in the great tradition of Western satirists like Erasmus of Rotterdam, John Dryden, and Jonathan Swift. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

The featured image uses an image from Titanic Belfast (https://www.flickr.com/people/titanicbelfast/), which is licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en). It has been altered with Photoshop for use here.

All comments are moderated and must be civil, concise, and constructive to the conversation. Comments that are critical of an essay may be approved, but comments containing ad hominem criticism of the author will not be published. Also, comments containing web links or block quotations are unlikely to be approved. Keep in mind that essays represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Imaginative Conservative or its editor or publisher.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email