She’s earnest for equality
And vigilant for women’s rights;
She frowns on all frivolity,
Of justice she is keen to scale the heights,
And to this end she sat up nights
And studied law—you get the gist—
And now she’s qualified in slights.
They say she is a feminist.
Show her a discontent and she’ll pursue it doggedly,
And get involved in legal fights
For positive discrimination; as to quality,
That’s second place according to her lights—
A luxury for peers and parasites,
With whom she’d never make a tryst;
Though she’d applaud a man in tights;
They say she is a feminist.
Move her on a point of law and you must do it bodily,
And be indulgent when she kicks and bites,
And never treat her shoddily;
With half the population in her sights
She specializes in minorities—especially hermaphrodites;
Of grievances she has a great long shopping list;
She ties it to the tails of kites;
They say she is a feminist.
Envoy
Prince, you are full of jollity
As long as she remains an anarchist;
It boosts your profile with the polity
To say you are a feminist.
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Now, if I understand the poem correctly, a theme of the modern woman (the self-proclaimed feminist) is the inversion of justice for the rights of social groups, rather than for the individual. Hence my favorite line, showing the satirical yet vengeful nature of such legal practice – “She specializes in minorities—especially hermaphrodites.”