(The Vatican)—Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI has caused quite a stir with the publication of his new book on the importance of priestly celibacy. From the Depths of Our Hearts, written with Cardinal Robert Sarah, seems to challenge Pope Francis’ presumed desire to allow married deacons in the Amazon region to be ordained as priests. The move has incensed liberal theologians and laypeople, especially in the United States.
A woman coming out of a Manhattan Catholic parish and wearing a T-shirt that said “Hillary 2020?” excoriated the former pontiff, aged 92: “For crying out loud, his time has passed! He had his chance and blew it. It’s time for new blood now.”
“One pope is complicated enough. This is a mess,” complained a woman sipping coffee from a Starbucks cup and sporting pink hair, a nose ring, and a button with a rainbow-colored equal sign on it. “Imagine if we had someone claiming she should be president or something while the current president was trying to do his job.”
“It’s time for him to live up to his promise to be ‘hidden from the world’,” squawked a millennial man wearing a man-bun, Crocks, and a “I still [heart] Hillary” T-shirt, as he engaged in some sort of protest in front of Trump Tower.
Another woman at the same protest and wearing a “RBG Forever!” button balked: “That old geezer…. there’s no way he has the mental capacity at his advanced age to write a book. It’s a darn good thing he is not in a position to make decisions that impact the lives of millions anymore.”
“Now please leave me alone, as I have to go get ready to watch Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren square off in tonight’s debate.”
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The featured image combines official government photos of Hillary Clinton and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and a photo of Pope Benedict from Catholic Church England and Wales, which is licensed under Creative Commons 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/)