After his outstanding performance hosting the 2020 Golden Globe Awards, the Democratic National Committee has enlisted British comedian Ricky Gervais to host its next presidential debate. “We couldn’t think of anyone better to host our next presidential forum,” DNC chairman Tom Perez said in a press release. “Everyone is buzzing about his performance at the Golden Globes, and though I didn’t watch it personally, I hear that he was a hoot. Ricky Gervais is funny, direct, and liberal, so we are confident that he will put the best light on our candidates… and frankly toss them softball questions all night.”

When reached for comment afterward, Mr. Gervais said that he will advise Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Pete Buttigieg, and the rest of the candidates not to use the debate “as a platform to advance your celebrity status. You’re in no position to appear before the public about anything. You know nothing about looking good on TV. Most of you spent less time in the makeup room tonight than the slave laborers who made your iPhones.”

“So if you win the debate, come up, accept your little award, thank your corporate donors and your PR handlers, and walk off, OK? It’s already three hours long. And most people would much rather watch Netflix anyway.”

Chairman Perez said that if Mr. Gervais is unable for any reason to fulfill his duties as host, then the DNC would turn to Texas church shooting hero Jack Wilson.

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. We also sometimes add a dose of humor to our journal in the great tradition of Western satirists like Erasmus of Rotterdam, John Dryden, and Jonathan Swift. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

The featured image is “Ricky Gervais hosting 2012 Golden Globes” by k-ideas is licensed by Creative Commons under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 .

All comments are moderated and must be civil, concise, and constructive to the conversation. Comments that are critical of an essay may be approved, but comments containing ad hominem criticism of the author will not be published. Also, comments containing web links or block quotations are unlikely to be approved. Keep in mind that essays represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Imaginative Conservative or its editor or publisher.

Leave a Comment
Print Friendly, PDF & Email