After his outstanding performance hosting the 2020 Golden Globe Awards, the Democratic National Committee has enlisted British comedian Ricky Gervais to host its next presidential debate. “We couldn’t think of anyone better to host our next presidential forum,” DNC chairman Tom Perez said in a press release. “Everyone is buzzing about his performance at the Golden Globes, and though I didn’t watch it personally, I hear that he was a hoot. Ricky Gervais is funny, direct, and liberal, so we are confident that he will put the best light on our candidates… and frankly toss them softball questions all night.”
When reached for comment afterward, Mr. Gervais said that he will advise Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren, Pete Buttigieg, and the rest of the candidates not to use the debate “as a platform to advance your celebrity status. You’re in no position to appear before the public about anything. You know nothing about looking good on TV. Most of you spent less time in the makeup room tonight than the slave laborers who made your iPhones.”
“So if you win the debate, come up, accept your little award, thank your corporate donors and your PR handlers, and walk off, OK? It’s already three hours long. And most people would much rather watch Netflix anyway.”
Chairman Perez said that if Mr. Gervais is unable for any reason to fulfill his duties as host, then the DNC would turn to Texas church shooting hero Jack Wilson.
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