(London)—In the category of truth-is-stranger-than-fiction, an American woman has kissed an English prince, turning him into a frog.

The dark-haired beauty, Lady Meghan, married the young, handsome Prince Harry in May of 2018. The match, like those in fairy tales, seemed to be made in Heaven, with a happily-ever-after to follow. But now-Princess Meghan is reported to be “very distressed” at the changes in her husband since they wed and moved into Frogmore Cottage, on the grounds of Windsor Castle.

“He’s just not the same,” she said, wiping away a tear and gently stroking the green frog with red, curly hair in her lap. “I should have guessed the Queen knew it when she gave us this cottage. I mean it’s right there in the name.”

Apparently, her wicked mother-in-law, the Queen, knew of Harry’s true nature but concealed it. But when Prince Harry and Princess Meghan recently announced their decision to step back from their official positions and titles, the spell that warded off Harry’s transformation into an amphibian fully evaporated.

“I kissed a lot of frogs while I waited for my prince. It turns out that Harry was actually a frog. And the Queen knew it.”

As part of their “divorce” from the royal family, the couple will lose their titles as “Royal Highnesses.” They will, however, continue to “draw millions” from the frog’s father, Prince Charles, who affirms that he is happy to bankroll the couple. And the state security team will continue to protect them at public expense, including the introduction of a secure amphibian habitat for the frog-prince.

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. We also sometimes add a dose of humor to our journal in the great tradition of Western satirists like Erasmus of Rotterdam, John Dryden, and Jonathan Swift. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

The featured image combines “The Frog Prince” by Nemanja Sekulic, licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 4.0; a photo of Prince Harry at the 2017 Invictus Games opening ceremony, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license; and a photo of Meghan Markle, licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license.

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