(Des Moines, IA)— This morning, while cleaning up the set of last night’s Democratic debate, a Drake University custodian found former Vice President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. still sleeping at his podium. “He was snoring pretty loudly, and my vacuuming didn’t even seem to disturb him,” said Zeke Harris, as he mopped around Mr. Biden’s shoes. “Once I heard him mumble something like ‘Well, Barack loves me’. But that was it.”

“I tried to rouse him as we left the stage,” fellow presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren said. “But Tom Steyer was still droning on in the background, and that sure didn’t help.”

“We’re not going to wake him,” a DNC official said. “He needs the sleep at his age, and at least this way he’ll go for a while without making an embarrassing gaffe of some sort.”

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The featured image is “Joe Biden” by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 .

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