(Washington, DC)— Today President Trump announced that in an effort to make America free of dependence on China for products, the United States would begin manufacturing its own brand of COVID-19. “It’s high time that we lessen our dependence on China,” the president declared. “And one of the steps I am taking today is to encourage American manufacturers to produce a domestic version of the Wuhan-Chinese-Asian-Far Eastern-Yellow-Red Communist Virus.”

“Our American version of COVID-19 will be better… in fact, some say the best… of any virus ever developed. Together we will make viruses great again.”

The president also promised to levy high tariffs on the importation of the foreign brand of the virus from China.

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. We also sometimes add a dose of humor to our journal in the great tradition of Western satirists like Erasmus of Rotterdam, John Dryden, and Jonathan Swift. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

The featured image combines a detail from an image of the coronavirus and a detail of an image of President Trump, courtesy of Pixabay.

All comments are moderated and must be civil, concise, and constructive to the conversation. Comments that are critical of an essay may be approved, but comments containing ad hominem criticism of the author will not be published. Also, comments containing web links or block quotations are unlikely to be approved. Keep in mind that essays represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Imaginative Conservative or its editor or publisher.

Leave a Comment
Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Voiced by Amazon Polly