(Washington, DC)— Today President Trump announced that in an effort to make America free of dependence on China for products, the United States would begin manufacturing its own brand of COVID-19. “It’s high time that we lessen our dependence on China,” the president declared. “And one of the steps I am taking today is to encourage American manufacturers to produce a domestic version of the Wuhan-Chinese-Asian-Far Eastern-Yellow-Red Communist Virus.”

“Our American version of COVID-19 will be better… in fact, some say the best… of any virus ever developed. Together we will make viruses great again.”

The president also promised to levy high tariffs on the importation of the foreign brand of the virus from China.

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The featured image combines a detail from an image of the coronavirus and a detail of an image of President Trump, courtesy of Pixabay.

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