(Los Angeles, CA)—Singer/model/actress Naomi Campbell was spotted yesterday at Tom Bradley International Airport wearing a full hazmat suit as she boarded a flight. Long known as a germophobe, Campbell’s extreme measures in the face of the Coronavirus outbreak reassured her fellow passengers.

“Thank God she is doing this,” said Helen Ledbetter, who was trying to squeeze the last drop out of a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer as she waited at the baggage claim. “We really need people like her to survive this crisis. I mean, just because we are facing a civilization-ending catastrophe doesn’t mean we’ve lost our perspective as to how important pop-culture icons are to society.”

“I tried to buy one of those suits on eBay, but it cost like $20,000 now,” said passenger Tom Becklow, who was rubbing a dry bar of Ivory antibacterial soap between his hands. “But I ‘m thrilled that our celebrity betters can afford them. After all, who would be left to instruct us on climate change, health-care racism, economic justice, and the like?”

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. We also sometimes add a dose of humor to our journal in the great tradition of Western satirists like Erasmus of Rotterdam, John Dryden, and Jonathan Swift. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

The featured image is taken from Twitter.

All comments are moderated and must be civil, concise, and constructive to the conversation. Comments that are critical of an essay may be approved, but comments containing ad hominem criticism of the author will not be published. Also, comments containing web links or block quotations are unlikely to be approved. Keep in mind that essays represent the opinions of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of The Imaginative Conservative or its editor or publisher.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email