(Los Angeles, CA)—Singer/model/actress Naomi Campbell was spotted yesterday at Tom Bradley International Airport wearing a full hazmat suit as she boarded a flight. Long known as a germophobe, Campbell’s extreme measures in the face of the Coronavirus outbreak reassured her fellow passengers.

“Thank God she is doing this,” said Helen Ledbetter, who was trying to squeeze the last drop out of a tiny bottle of hand sanitizer as she waited at the baggage claim. “We really need people like her to survive this crisis. I mean, just because we are facing a civilization-ending catastrophe doesn’t mean we’ve lost our perspective as to how important pop-culture icons are to society.”

“I tried to buy one of those suits on eBay, but it cost like $20,000 now,” said passenger Tom Becklow, who was rubbing a dry bar of Ivory antibacterial soap between his hands. “But I ‘m thrilled that our celebrity betters can afford them. After all, who would be left to instruct us on climate change, health-care racism, economic justice, and the like?”

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