(USA) — Government officials in Washington DC and across the country are looking forward to ending the national lockdown soon and returning to normal times, when Americans are allowed to go about their business without government direction or interference.

“This whole Coronavirus thing really forced us into a new role,” said one high official at the Centers for Disease Control. “We’re not used to telling our citizens what to do. It’s just not in our nature as bureaucrats.”

Added one state lieutenant-governor: “The idea of dictating whether people can leave their homes or open their businesses or go to church, even how close they can stand to each other and what they have to wear when outdoors … geesh… it’s not like we politicians were itching for untold decades to get this kind of power.”

“Yeah, it’ll be great to get back to the status quo,” said a relieved police chief, as his officers rounded up a group of old ladies assembling illegally in a church parking lot. “You know, when Americans barely knew government existed.”

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