Tupelo, Mississippi—In the wake of the controversy over the current Mississippi state flag, which includes the Confederate Battle Flag in its design, a group calling itself The Non-Binary Anti-Fascist People’s Liberation Society for Climate Sanity has proposed a new, transparent flag to replace those state flags having what it deems to be “racist” designs.

“This is the only flag that will be welcoming to all people,” said Randy Tuchman, president of the TNBAFPLSFCS. “I mean, it’s not just the Mississippi flag that’s racist. The Washington State flag has slaveowner George Washington right smack in the middle; Illinois and Iowa have that symbol of American imperialism, the bald eagle on them; Alabama and Hawaii have what are obviously Confederate bars on them—DON’T TRY TO FOOL US, RACISTS!—and who knows what the heck that is on the Maryland flag… it’s got to be some sort of homophobic, bigoted, sexist symbol, though. No doubt.”

“We thought about all-white or all-black flags,” Mr. Tuchman said. “But there would be a lot of obvious problems with those. Any single color, in fact, would suggest favoring one group of the rainbow over another, so we rejected those ideas. It’s clear that the clear flag—haha—is the only way to promote equality and rights for all over fascist hatred.”

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