He’s first to claim his faith’s a spur
To politics—but in the cause of modern life
As seen by a minority of folks who stir
The democratic pot to greater strife,
For whom the wooden spoon too oft becomes a knife;
His faith’s a compass, but it’s not politic
To follow it where secularism’s rife;
He says he is a Catholic.

Though it is easy in an interview to purr
Of faith-based morals and the afterlife,
When TV cameras cease to whirr,
To fight God’s corner—be morality’s midwife—
Is harder when you’re living the highlife,
And then the flaming torch becomes a feeble candlestick;
And he has an outspoken wife.
He says he is a Catholic.

And when it comes to moral stuff, when fur
Is flying, he’s no non-conformist—likes the quiet life;
Protecting the unborn and feeble? Durr!
He’s more compassion for wildlife
And population issues—then he bawls like a fishwife.
Politically he’s tame, though a religious maverick.
And go to Mass? He’d rather spend a wet weekend in Fife.
He says he is a Catholic.


Prince, we’re obliged to call you Sir
(Spelt with an ‘s’ not ‘c’—we’d never make it stick)
But as to him, t’would be a fouler slur
To say he is a Catholic.

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