They are the most attentive pair,
Their senses constantly on the alert
For verbal faux pas; and because they care,
They will most violently assert
Their right to random remonstrations if their feelings hurt;
Providing you behave, they are the friendliest of folk –
But always at the ready with opinions pert;
Because they are the king and queen of woke.

You may cross them if you dare,
But only if your brain is quite inert;
And if you have a soul to bare
Concerning issues they would rather skirt –
Far better bare it in the pub to a bloke named Bert,
For at your peril you provoke
The left-wing aristocracy, or they will dish the dirt;
Because they are the king and queen of woke.

If I were you I’d say a prayer,
And if you speak to them, best make it curt,
Or you will get a stony stare –
They’d rather see you homeless, living in a yurt
If you decide the truth to blithely blurt;
If you’re in business, you would soon be stony broke –
They’d sue your pants off, followed by your shirt;
Because they are the king and queen of woke.


Prince, hidden in your country lair,
You enjoy the odd off-colour joke;
But though PC’s enough to make you swear,
You bow to right-on royalty – the king and queen of woke.

The Imaginative Conservative applies the principle of appreciation to the discussion of culture and politics—we approach dialogue with magnanimity rather than with mere civility. Will you help us remain a refreshing oasis in the increasingly contentious arena of modern discourse? Please consider donating now.

We hope you will join us in The Imaginative Conservative community. The Imaginative Conservative is an online journal for those who seek the True, the Good, and the Beautiful. We address culture, liberal learning, politics, political economy, literature, the arts and the American Republic in the tradition of Russell Kirk, T.S. Eliot, Edmund Burke, Irving Babbitt, Wilhelm Roepke, Robert Nisbet, Richard Weaver, M.E. Bradford, Eric Voegelin, Christopher Dawson, Paul Elmer More, and other leaders of Imaginative Conservatism. Some conservatives may look at the state of Western culture and the American Republic and see a huge dark cloud which seems ready to unleash a storm that may well wash away what we most treasure of our inherited ways. Others focus on the silver lining which may be found in the next generation of traditional conservatives who have been inspired by Dr. Kirk and his like. We hope that The Imaginative Conservative answers T.S. Eliot’s call to “redeem the time, redeem the dream.” The Imaginative Conservative offers to our families, our communities, and the Republic, a conservatism of hope, grace, charity, gratitude, and prayer.

The featured image is “Polish Hamlet – Portrait of Aleksander Wielopolski” (1903) by Jacek Malczewski (1854-1929), courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

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